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Chapter 34 – Di Wu: NeverExpectedThatRight!.jpg

Yan Xuanjing looked at his disgraced father. His gaze paused on him for two seconds, then he looked away as if he had seen nothing.

Di Wu recognised this fox at a glance. He looked at Yan Gui, who had the same appearance as Yan Xuanjing’s disguise, and his expression was very complicated.

One could tell with a single glance that they were father and son from this disguise, their abilities came from the same place.

Di Wu wasn’t surprised that Yan Gui would look like this now.

— Because he was very clear what type of fox Yan Gui was.

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In the past, Yan Gui, this fox, liked to transform into somebody else and go wandering all over the place. The bewitching talent of the nine-tailed fox completely developed under Yan Gui.

Their group of friends often had blame dropping from the sky and precising hitting them. Basically, as long as somebody came to find you for something that you didn’t do, it definitely wouldn’t be wrong to go and give Yan Gui some trouble.

But the problem was giving trouble didn’t meant that there could be a fight, because not only did Yan Gui have great talent in bewitching others, he was also very strong.

The blame couldn’t be thrown away and the fight couldn’t be won, so there was only anger.

But Yan Gui, this fox, although he looked unreliable and wild, his true nature was in fact very thoughtful and meticulous, and he also was very righteous.

The innocuous little troubles that he brought to his friends, gave their little circle that lived in the Great Wilderness but could rarely fight and could only scare little monsters or loaf around, a lively atmosphere.

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He would bring snacks, books, and paintings for Di Xiu, and would also send news secretly to Di Wu, who liked to wander and cause trouble around the Great Wilderness.

In addition to all of these, he would also do many things that other monsters couldn’t think of.

Being friends with Yan Gui, this fox, would bring a lot of beautiful colours into your uneventful life.

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At least Di Wu felt that this fox was pretty good. In the past, he would often go around drinking or bragging with Yan Gui — counting like this, it had been more than five thousand years since they last drank together.

Di Wu looked at the fox who had been struck by lightning until his fur exploded, shoved Di Xiu, who had been struggling after being picked up by the head, into his front pocket and clicked his tongue, “what’s the matter with you father and son pair?”

Milky’s action of jumping out was too fast, and before Lin Mu could even react, the big ball of fur had already blocked his view in the blink of an eye.



Yan Gui frowned, and realised that this sentence wasn’t so simple.

What did he mean by ‘what’s the matter with you father and son pair’?

What other matters could there be between father and son? it was simply just a father and son.

Yan Gui turned to look at Lin Mu. He realised Lin Mu eyes were slightly narrowed, was staring at him blankly, and seemed to be a little angry.

Yan Gui looked at Di Wu and thought the matter was worse.

After two seconds of silence, he decided to turn around and scold his child, “you used the jade that I gave you for this?! How does this look like you’re in danger? Haven’t you heard of the boy who cried wolf? I won’t help you next time!”

Yan Xuanjing didn’t move and even snorted.

Yan Gui’s skill of simply taking the blame and throwing it to another hadn’t changed in thousands of years.

“Weren’t you looking for me?” Di Wu took out his cigarette pack, and just as he took a cigarette, it was knocked out of his hand by the Di Xiu in his coat pocket. He gave a light tsk, tucked the cigarette pack back and said to Yan Gui, “would you have arrived so soon without using a method like this?”

Yan Gui heard his words, and felt that it was true.

He looked squarely at the merits and karma around Di Wu, and asked in a vague manner, “what’s the matter with you?”

“I’ll talk about it later.” Di Wu went and sat down on the withered tree again, then patted beside him, “come, sit. First explain why you father and son pair tricked by my nephew.”

“That’s Yan Xuanjing’s fault, I’m only an innocent animal passing by.” Yan Gui jumped onto the dead tree and talked in an eloquent manner, “again, humoring my friend’s nephew, how could it be called tricking?”

“What did he humour you about?” Di Wu turned to ask Lin Mu.

Di Xiu also turned his head.

Now, Lin Mu also understood that the abnormalities that he had noticed in Milky those two weeks wasn’t a misconception.

He carefully recalled those two weeks, and realised that during that time, Milky hardly ever stood or sat. He simply laid lazily in the dog bed every day, and was either sleeping or on the way to sleeping.

If it wasn’t for Ginseng Baby taking him out to the mountains intermittently, Lin Mu would have thought that he could have slept till the end of the world.

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After pondering for a long time, Lin Mu couldn’t think about what he had been humoured about.

Because Yan Gui, this great monster, didn’t look dignified at all, and he couldn’t muster up the slightest bit of awe.

Yan Gui slouched lazily on the dead tree and said, “played toys with him, caught a Frisbee, throwing balls, catching pheasants, boars, or digging up spiritual medication.”

Di Wu ‘woah-ed’.

That was really humouring, Di Wu thought. After all, Yan Gui, this fox, had no sense of responsibility or patience unless he encountered some major event.

The previous one that had made Yan Gui sweet talk and accompany carefully was his wife, Yan Xuanjing’s mother.

“Why would I lie to you for? Can’t I be nice? At that time, I thought that if the two of you were gone, I would have taken the little Relaxed Emperor back to raise.” Yan Gui lazily said, “and just nice, your nephew and my kid had a good relationship, after going to the Great Wilderness and stabilising their power, they could go all over and play, en, really not bad!”

“We’re still alive.” Di Wu reached out a hand to poke Di Xiu’s small head, and then corrected him, “and your son doesn’t have a good relationship with my nephew, my nephew’s angry.”

“What do you mean by this?” Yan Gui wasn’t happy, and then flipped and threw the blame onto Di Wu, “isn’t my son your nephew too?”

Di Wu didn’t hesitate, “your son’s not my family.”

Yan Gui turned to look at his son: “Yan Xuanjing, reflect on yourself.”

Yan Xuanjing: “?”

You fucking with me?

Di Xiu grabbed onto the edge of Di Wu’s pocket, and made a gesture of sighing to the innocent little fox.

“Their relationship is good alright.” Yan Gui smirked, and the smugness in this voice was almost leaking through, “your nephew really likes my son, and also lets Milk……”

“I didn’t!” Lin Mu quickly interrupted the conversation between the two great monsters.

Yan Gui glanced at him, “no, you did.”

Yan Xuanjing had a rare moment where he agreed with his father’s words, and confirmed, “you did.”

Lin Mu covered his burning ears and once again emphasised, “I just like to look at Yan Xuanjing’s face.”

Yan Gui nodded, and was extremely proud, “those who like nine-tailed foxes all like their face. My wife really liked my face back then.”

Lin Mu: “……”


I really could tell.

These two are real father and son, couldn’t be faked at all.

Di Wu and Di Xiu had really lived in human society before, so they naturally understood what Lin Mu meant.

Di Xiu raised his hands and clapped them together, trying to support his son.

Di Xiu just thought that this scene was really damn interesting, and with a single raise of his hand pressed the clapping Di Xiu down.

Lin Mu felt that he really couldn’t stay with these great monsters anymore.

He was really tired, and even felt a little bit wronged.

Yan Xuanjing looked at Lin Mu’s expressionless manner, thought for a while, and changed back into Milky’s appearance.

Lin Mu, whose inner heart had been occupied by this series of harassing acts, saw him change back, and felt his anger instantly rising again.

“What?” He said harshly.

Yan Xuanjing sat in front of him in a very dignified manner, looked up, wagged his tail and and gave a ‘woof’ without any expression on his face.

Lin Mu, along with the other three elders, were so shocked by Yan Xuanjing’s ‘woof’ that they lost their words.

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Yan Xuanjing looked at Lin Mu, whose expression was gradually becoming blank, and said, “it’s my fault. Don’t be angry.”

Lin Mu: “?”

How exactly did this fox’s brain circuit grow?

Yan Xuanjing really felt that he had done something wrong.

He thought about it from a different direction, and if he was Lin Mu, he would feel like he had been made a fool of — even if he did protect Lin Mu afterwards, this matter still wasn’t done in a proper manner.

After all, before he knew about Lin Mu’s blood, he didn’t really respect this half-monster.

And only felt that since he wasn’t staying for long, playing two roles wouldn’t have mattered.

Yan Xuanjing reflected for a bit, and felt that from Lin Mu’s perspective, this really wasn’t proper.

Especially since Lin Mu attached a great importance and also liked Milky.

Of course, this was according to the logic of monsters. It was precisely because Lin Mu had the blood of a Relaxed Emperor running in his veins, and there was also the favour of taking him in, that Yan Xuanjing would think about this matter from another point of view.

If Lin Mu was an ordinary human or monster, then Yan Xuanjing wouldn’t have thought so much about it. He would probably only leave one or two points of protection before casually leaving, and although it would just a little, it was definitely enough for humans and ordinary little monsters to benefit for a lifetime.

Yan Xuanjing looked at Lin Mu and said very seriously, “I’ll play Frisbee with you in the future.”

Yan Gui returned to his senses and looked at his son.

His kid’s serious attitude was exactly the same as his in the past.

He took it a little more seriously, and his eyes glanced several times between Lin Mu and Yan Xuanjing, and finally, his gaze fell on two sacred trees that were observing in secret. Just when he wanted to say something, he closed his mouth again.

Forget it.

Children had their own happiness.

Yan Gui pushed the sense of responsibility that had appeared back, and happily watched his son coax someone.

“Playing with a ball is also fine.” Yan Xuanjing looked up at Lin Mu, “I also can accompany you to pinch the little chick, play with the little dinosaurs, pinch the ducks and kittens.”

Lin Mu bathed in the increasingly loving eyes of the several elders and raised his hands to cover his face, “…… you can shut up!”

Yan Xuanjing quickly shut his mouth.

“What meaning do those toys have!” Lin Mu rubbed his face twice, and asked, “what does a fox sound like? I want to hear a fox’s call.”

Yan Gui heard his words and quickly moved his gaze away .

The isolated Yan Xuanjing: “……”

Lin Mu stubbornly watched him.

Yan Xuanjing fell silent for a long time, then opened his mouth, “yip.”

Di Wu instantly laughed.

Lin Mu made an ‘ay’, showed a smile on his face, and the two little dimples formed sweetly on the corner of his mouth. He said, “I feel that this sounds much better than a dog barking, you can call like this in the future.”


Yan Xuanjing widened his eyes slightly.

Lin Mu stooped down, smiled, and patted Yan Xuanjing’s dog head, “really cute.”

“Okay! I’m going to dig for spiritual medication, the few of you1polite you should have a lot of old stories to talk about.” Lin Mu had recovered his energetic appearance, and felt that his waist wasn’t sore, his legs weren’t painful and his revenge was thriving. He turned around and happily bounced back to his yard.

The remaining three monsters watched as Lin Mu returned to the yard, and Yan Gui motioned to his son, “you go too, when the adults talk, little brats shouldn’t eavesdrop.”

Yan Xuanjing glanced at his father expressionlessly, then looked at Di Wu, whose smile hadn’t faded, and his eyes flickered across Di Xiu who was sticking his head out of Di Wu’s pocket. He didn’t say anything else as he turned around to go to the yard.


Yan Gui threw a privacy spell, and said, “speak, what’s up with the merits and sins on you.”

“What? My body and soul has been defending the land for thousands of years, but I’m allowed to get any merits?” Di Wu snorted, “this bastards never thought that I could have gotten so many merits. If it wasn’t for the merits increasing, my soul would have scattered as early as eight hundred years, how else could I have gotten a chance of survival?”

“Then you aren’t safe from the sins either.” Yan Gui frowned, “it’s clashing with your original body, and something will happen sooner or later.”

“Small problem.” Di Wu reached for his pocket again, and this time before lighting up a cigarette, he took Di Xiu out and threw him to Yan Gui, then took in a deep breath after successfully lighting up the cigarette. “All my souls haven’t been fished out yet. For five thousand years, each and every bit of my soul has been gaining enough merits for me to wash the Central Plains free of sins for several rounds.”

Yan Gui listened to what he said and also felt at ease, “as long you as you know what you’re doing.”

Di Wu let out puffs of smoke for quite some time, then asked Yan Gui, “did something happen in the Great Wilderness recently?”

“Yes. The power you separated from yourself some time ago had gotten controlled by another monster with an unknown form. This monster made some waves in the Great Wilderness, and since his strength still wasn’t bad, it was okay to use as practice for the kids, and prevent him from coming to the Central Plains.”

Yan Gui said finished, and muttered, “but he’s actually quite brave, daring to even make trouble at the Kunlun Mountains.”

“There’s a passage in Qingyao Mountain, right? I was saying no wonder I became restless as soon as I came to City A.” Di Wu looked at Yan Gui, who didn’t seem to take this matter seriously, and reminded, “It’s better if you guys be careful with that. It’s not up to you guys, but anyone who could control the power that I separated out wouldn’t have any good characteristics, and they would at least have some killing intent and resentment.”

After all, when he had crashed and burned, he still had prepared a little. Di Wu knew that resentment couldn’t be carried in the soul, so all of his anger and resentment at that time were stuffed into the conscious-less power.

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As the saying goes, when there’s life, there’s hope.2留得青山在不愁没柴烧. lit. if you stay in with the Green Mountains, you need not worry about firewood. Story goes like this: there was a man that made charcoal. He had two sons, and gave each of them a mountain when he died. The eldest was called Qing Shan (Green Mountain), and the younger Hong Shan (Red mountain). Red mountain was very diligent, and made charcoal everyday and planted corps on the mountain. Few years later, a heavy rain came and washed away all his crops. Desperate, he went to find his brother. His brother was better at planning. He first cut and burned the unproductive trees and planted new seedlings, then farmed plants and cattle. When the rain came, the plants and cattle weren’t damaged because they were protected by the trees. The brother who lived on Green Mountain told the other, ‘if you benefit from the mountain but don’t support it, you will end up in poverty. But if you raise the mountains first and benefit later, you will live in bliss.’ Later people praised him by saying ‘if you stay in with the Green Mountains, you need not worry about firewood’. If his soul had no resentment and his mind was clear, then all he needed to do was to find some part of his body and take root in some land with enough spiritual energy. After a couple thousand of years, he would be a healthy man again. His strength wouldn’t be a big problem, because all he needed to do was to cultivate again.

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Now, his power had been used by others, but it didn’t really matter to Di Wu. In any case, he wouldn’t be going to the Great Wilderness anytime soon. And no matter how bad the issue became, he wouldn’t be blamed. Besides, he hadn’t finished his matters in the Central Plains.

However, Di Wu was still very clear on how poisonous his power was to other monsters, so he cautioned Yan Gui very seriously, “solve it as soon as possible.”

“Sure. This time, I just came over just to see Lin Mu. The two of you are considered an accidental harvest, I’ll be going in the next couple of days.”

Yan Gui responded to Di Wu’s words, and felt Di Xiu crawling on his head, shook his ears and looked at Di Wu again. After hesitating, he still asked, “where were you sealed? We went up to the heavens and down to the netherworld, but still didn’t even find the slightest trace of you.”

“Of course you couldn’t find, those brats were really courageous.”

Di Wu stepped on the ground and said, “both my soul and several large parts of my body were sealed in several wandering Dragon Veins.”3Dragon Veins (龙脉) is something common in cultivation novels. Basically, it’s a source of Qi (or spiritual energy) and sometimes spiritual stones, that can be found beneath the earth. Usually, they’re in the form of rivers or lakes, and in some wuxia stories, sects are built on them. In more modern times, dragon veins are seen in feng shui, and if an area is built on a dragon vein, it’ll be prosperous. Something similar, but not exactly the same, are ley lines.

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The Dragon Veins of Fengshui had always been something that only a few humans and monsters would study.

Yan Gui frowned, “what do you mean?”

“What I meant is this. That group of brats wanted to drag the entire Great Wilderness and Central Plains down with them. They thought that the traveling dragon veins would take me through the Central Plains and the Great Wilderness, so that thousands of souls would be able to share their sins, eliminate the karma, and then they would use their skills to lock the dragon vein up for private use.” Di Wu said, then laughed twice, “who would have thought that the Dragon Veins had long already attained spiritual wisdom?”

Before he had earned enough merits, he had already been playing mahjong with several Dragon Veins that had gained spiritual awareness for many years.

The author has this to say:

Di Wu: NeverExpectedThatRight!.jpg

The translator has this to say:

What does the fox say?

This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. Spica

    The fox says “yip”

  2. RenTheWitch

    Yip lol adorable

  3. NinjaGal

    What does the fox say?
    … Throwback of that song… Ugh now it’s stuck in my head

  4. Soup

    Ohohoh I feel like I’m one of the elders, grinning and eating seeds while Lin Mu and Yan Xuanjing spread dog food around~

    Thank you for the chapter~

  5. yip yip. What does the fox says really. XD

    yxj so cute in this chapter. 💖
    YXJ be like: slowlyfallingforlinmu.jpeg

  6. Muggelschmuggel

    Aaah, these melon uncles are so… ahahahahaha xDDD

    Thx for the ch (ㅅ˘ㅂ˘)

  7. MoonStar

    “Yip” 😂😂😂😂 I feel like Di Wu most days

  8. myu

    yip yip yip yip yip yip yip

    do some dog sfx sound like this?

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