I’m leaving home!
On this day, the old house welcomed a new tenant.
When he heard the noise, the evil spirit scurried down from the ceiling and floated in front of the new tenant.
Evil spirits survive by absorbing the fearful screams of humans, but this old house hadn’t been occupied for a long time, and the old spirit was so hungry his soul was about to dissipate.
The new tenant was a man that was around twenty-years-old. He was very good looking and seemed to be a little mixed-blood. He had a head full of black curls which looked like it hadn’t been trimmed in a long time, and a few curls sticking up at the back of his head. The evil spirit rushed to see the ID card that the new tenant left on the bed and said to himself, “Lu Yan…… tsk, tsk. Photo’s really ugly”.
Lu Yan paused and said with a cold voice, “your photo would be ugly too.”
The evil spirit screamed and jumped into the ceiling.
Lu Yan raised his head, “what’s a ghost calling for?”1鬼叫什么？A pun. Can be either ‘Why are a ghost yelling about?’ or ‘How do I call this ghost?’
The evil spirit, “I’m called Ye Tong.”
Lu Yan choked, “……”
Ye Tong patted his chest, “you scared me to death.”
Lu Yan sneered, “useless.”
Ye Tong was still in shock, “I haven’t manifested yet, you shouldn’t be able to sense me.”
“Yin Yang eyes,2eyes that can see ghosts and spirits.” Lu Yan said as he pointed at his own eyes.
Ye Tong, “So…… so you’re not afraid of me?”
“Heh,” Lu Yan said, “I’ve seen a lot of ghosts.”
Ye Tong became distressed, “If you’re not scared of me, I’m going to starve to death.”
Lu Yan hesitated and then frowned, “if I’m not scared then I’m not scared, there’s nothing I can do.”
Ye Tong turned his head a full 360°, “look at me, I’m scary right?”
Lu Yan calmly placed his clothes into the wardrobe.
Ye Tong started to bleed out of all seven apertures32 eyes, 2 nose, 2 ears, 1 mouth, “I died a horrible death, look.”
Lu Yan glanced at him, “looked.”
“You’re not sincere at all,” Ye Tong said in a disappointed tone.
Just like a bored man who was accompanying his girlfriend to shop.
Lu Yan lit a cigarette, fell silent for a moment, then said, “you want me to praise you?”
Ye Tong: ……
Lu Yan patted Ye Tong’s bloody face, “really nice.”
Angered, Ye Tong flew into the air conditioner, faintly revealing a pair of eyes from the inside.
“Can you respect this occupation ‘evil spirit’ for a bit?”
Lu Yan pressed the air conditioner’s remote, “okay.”
Ye Tong went hungry for another day, so hungry that he became flustered.
Lu Yan was happily cooking in the kitchen, turning a blind eye to the fact that there was an evil spirit living in the house.
Languished bitterly in the wok, Ye Tong said, “do you want me to starve to death?”
Lu Yan calmly continued to stir-fry, frying through Ye Tong’s intangible body, flipping the ingredients in the wok.
Ye Tong tearfully started to take off his shoes and pick at his feet.
Lu Yan shouted, “fuck!”
Ye Tong rubbed his stomach. He’d been hungry for several months, and finally managed to eat a small amount.
“Get out of the pot,” Lu Yan said after he calmed down.
Ye Tong, “could you scream again? You were scared just now. I ate it.”
Lu Yan glared at him.
“Don’t make me take off my pants.”
Lu Yan raised his hand to grab Ye Tong’s collar and threw him out.
Ye Tong was so shocked he floated to the ceiling, “how could you touch me!”
“I told you I had Yin Yang eyes,” Lu Yan coldly said.
“No, those with Yin Yang Eyes can only see, but they can’t touch evil spirit.”
Lu Yan clenched his fist, “in any case, I can touch.”
Ye Tong hung on the chandelier and cried, “wuwuwu……4sound of crying”
It’s so difficult being an evil spirit, so difficult.
Lu Yan slept until noon, and sleepily got up to go to the bathroom.
Ye Tong sneakily followed behind him, and when Lu Yan was washing his hands, snapped his fingers. The water flowing out of the tap instantly turned into blood.
Lu Yan didn’t even raise his eyebrows as he continued to wash his hands calmly and even washed his face with the blood.
Ye Tong made weird noises behind Lu Yan, “I died such a horrible death– wuwuwu– a ghost is coming–”
Lu Yan quickly turned his head around, face covered with blood.
Ye Tong screeched and flew into the toilet tank.
The evil spirit’s spell was broken, and the blood changed back into water. Lu Yan used a towel to dry his face and said coldly, “useless.”
Aggrieved, Ye Tong peeked out from the water tank, “why did you suddenly turn around! Don’t you know that your face is covered in blood!”
“Why do you scare me! How could you do something like this!”
“You dare to say that?”
“I don’t care. Apologise to me.”
Lu Yan kept quiet and turned on his computer to play League.
Ye Tong slammed the door in anger and left, “I’m leaving home!”
Lu Yan didn’t even turn back, “oh.”
A minute later, Ye Tong angrily returned.
Lu Yan gave a fake smile, “go ahead, leave.”
“I’m an earthbound spirit, I can’t leave.”
Lu Yan continued to play League, “then you should be more honest.”
Ye Tong cried as he dove into the computer terminal, “I’m going to cause trouble!”
Lu Yan, “tsk.”
Ye Tong stuck his butt out of the computer as he tinkered with it, “I’ll let you play! You only know how to play games all day long!”
The game characters on the screen suddenly became female ghosts with unkempt hair.
Lu Yan grabbed Ye Tong’s ankle and yanked him out, “looking for a beating?”
Ye Tong felt very wronged, “scram! Get a timid one here instead!
Lu Yan held Ye Tong his arms, “be more honest, if not I’ll find someone to exorcise you.”
Ye Tong was so frightened, he obediently sat on Lu Yan thigh.
So Lu Yan happily played an afternoon of League.